Tuesday, 12 May 2009

Episode 12: The one which I've wrapped up

After watching the match.com adverts recently, I've decided that the two characters (Cupid & Fate) are actually a fair representation of the type of guy that I seem to find on match.com. Average looking, Pretty clueless about women and unfortunately thinking they are totally cool when in fact almost the opposite is true. It amuses me that the site guarantees that you will find love after 6 months. It's been five months since I joined up and all i've found is big hole in my bank balance caused by going on endless dates with inappropriate guys just incase they have the potential to blossom into my next boyfriend. (...and breathe!)

The most recent reprobate that I had the misfortune of spending time with was Paul (Episode 9).
It started off well, we went on nice dates to Trio, Comedy at the Oak, ice skating & the cinema (Watchmen, his choice; bad film). We got on ok, had a couple of laughs and that.
Now although he was a lovely guy, he just seemed to have a juvenile personality. But boys grow up eventually, so I tried to ignore it in the hope that he would suddenly mature. But alas,
this wasn't true and it had to end.
Just to prove that I wasn't writing him off too soon, I've listed a few of his good points below in conjunction with the corresponding dealbreakers.

He cooked me dinner (which was lovely) at his house.
He put on the Sky planner on the tv for background music
We went ice skating, and then he suggested dinner afterwards He wanted to go to Nando's
We had a nice date in Browns He said it was old fashioned because the bar had ceiling fans as opposed to air conditioning
He liked live music He thought that live piano music in a bar was really old fashioned and "sad"
He said I had a really nice (and tidy) house He dissed my piano. In front of me (and it). In my own house.

Nonetheless, I still put all these bad points to the back of my mind just incase I was being too penickity. I can't be too choosy at my age you see.
The nail in the coffin happened after he stayed over at mine, and then didn't contact me for 3 weeks. He later said that he hadn't been in contact because he'd been in London. Yes London; apparently he has some sort of phone which doesn't get reception there. What nonsense. I decided that I couldn't be bothered with such a rude individual and subsequently didn't
text him back.

And then yesterday, I got a text from him (after another 2 weeks of no contact).

P: Hey George. I'm finally back from London now. Do you want to meet up for a drink next week?

I thought about it for 20 seconds, and then thought No. So I replied

G: Hi Paul, thanks for the offer but I'm going to decline. I think we're just a little bit too different. Glad we hooked up though ;) take care, love George.

I thought that was a textbook response and left it at that.

3 mins later

P: Really? That's a shame. I thought we had fun, and I can't stop thinking about your great bum. <--- (Cheap shot I thought, but fine.)
G: Thanks, what a nice compliment. 10 mins later P: Look, I really had fun with you and still owe you a fiver from the grand national, let me take you out for a KFC!

After picking my jaw up from the floor, I decided it was time for the true George text wit.

G: KFC?? I hope that's you being witty! I'm afraid no amount of spicy chicken wings would tempt me. Best use the £5 for a bargain bucket for one. My treat x

I then got something along the lines of how he was more of a Burger King man. I don't remember exactly because I deleted it. Safe to say though I was unimpressed. I didn't reply. I've since seen that he's altered his match.com profile, but I don't want to click on it just incase he gets any ideas.

I'm hoping the next episode will be a Thailand exclusive. I'll be on my own for the 14hr flight and for the first week as well, so I'm going to have to actively make some friends. Until then as always keep your suggestions coming. It's been 14 months now, and time is ticking by.......... x