Monday, 10 November 2008

Episode 8: The one which was really nice

Man: Sean
Age: 26
Description: Irish firefighter with arms like Austin Healy
Venue: Angel's Share, Chapel Allerton (yes again, it is clearly a place to pick up men!)

18 whole weeks. That's the amount of time it has been since my last update. That's getting on for 5 months.
In that time, I've been flitting about up and down the country, going to parties, weddings and leaving no stone unturned in my quest to attract a beautiful man.
And people tell me that you can find love anywhere. To a certain extent, its probably true.
I've been chatted up in the women's shoe dept in TK Maxx, been asked for my phone number at two separate sets of traffic lights, had all kinds of messages from various dating websites and even experienced an attempted 'hit on' at Fitness First Bradford. All amusing, but none of these men have been suitable enough to even talk to let alone write about.
Its hard to stay optimistic during such times, but every so often, you get a small glimmer of hope that makes all the effort worthwhile. I don't know if this will even pan out or not but even if it doesn't, it was still really nice.
Last Saturday, we all went out into Chapel A to mark a sorrowful occasion. Gemma is moving to London. Now I'm not going to get upset about it, but we will all miss her terribly :(
Anyway so I got chatting to Sean quite early on in the evening. I've met him a couple of times out and about as he is friends with Gemma's neighbours, so we sort of know each other. He isn't bad to look at, has beautiful eyes, but his hair is a little on the shaggy side. Apparently he has been told to get it cut as it is a fire hazard. Thank God!
And he's 5ft 8 - but I could do with a man more my height - it makes spooning far easier!
I can't remember what we were chatting about but he was telling me stuff about his job, and how he rescues people from car crashes etc, and sometimes they die but he tells them they're gonna be okay cos he doesn't want to scare them. As a general rule, if you survive the 3rd impact (your heart hitting your ribcage), then you're probably gonna be okay. 1 being the initial impact, and 2 being your body hitting the seatbelt!
So the evening passed relatively quickly, and soon we were on the way back to Gemma's house hand in hand. Now I was feeling rather confident with myself by this time, clearly fuelled by Jaegermeisters and Cava. So I went in for the kill, and he responded appropriately which was good.
We settled up on the sofa and just chatted and stuff (which did involve some kissing). He was totally well behaved, didn't whinge when I asked to keep X Factor on - even though it was 3am. AND he kept his hands firmly above the waist, and didn't even try any funny business.
At first I thought that was strange, but then I've since decided that he must be a gentleman and I shouldn't think he's gay because of it.
By the time it got to 5am, I think we'd both subconsciously made a decision not to bother going home, so we just curled up and nodded off.
When the morning came, it was all fine, we chatted for a bit and then remembered that neither of us were in our own houses, and thought it best to tot on home. He didn't specifically ask for my number, but I needed to call my phone from his as I'd temporarily lost it. So he saved my number that way, and then disappeared off into the morning.
I've since had sometime to reflect on this, and yesterday I had decided that I really liked him. But now, in the cold light of Monday, I've become more realistic and am going to accept fate whatever the outcome.
I've had some inside information which suggests he may call me. But I don't know.
I hope he does, or at least messages me on facebook.
Will keep you updated with progress

Thursday, 17 July 2008

Episode 7: The one which could have been three

Wow, I hear you say; two updates in as many weeks. The gods must be shining down on George finally. Well alas, they aren't. I've been sitting around waiting for Cupid and Fate, but between the two of them they have royally c**ked up my whole week, and made me shudder at the thought of finding a man to date.
And the reason.....? Unrequited Love.

There is nothing worse than finding somebody who you like only to find that they don't like you back. This has happened to me 3 times in 1 week. I don't know whether its the new long hair, my ample bosom, or the fact that I'm simply b-e-a-utiful, but over the past 7 days, I have been both victim and culprit.......

Incident 1: Stephen from Work:

You'd think after I called him a wet and a gay, he'd realise that I had no feelings for him and he'd leave me alone. But no, the texts and the emails still keep coming. E.g "i've shaved and moisturised 3 days on the trot!.Soon I'll be delightful and irresistible lol "
Really Stephen, it will take more than a Gillette Mach 3 to make me fancy you.
He also told a mutual colleague that he'd dreamt about me, and in his dream I said I'd go out with him.
Come on Stephen, it ain't gonna happen. Ever.
Even if you do send me texts at midnight saying you won't be fat forever, and that I'm really special, and if I ever change my mind, you'll be waiting for me.
Get a Grip!

Incident 2 The Rentokil man;

Last Friday, the man from Rentokil (Luke (27ish), 5ft 8, Townie haircut, gold/missing teeth, gold chav chain) called round to my house at 8am to check on the mice situation - of which there are none.
Unfortunately for me, when he rang the doorbell, i wasn't dressed. So I quickly put on a vest top - which I now realise was a mistake, and jeans.
So I opened the door all smiley, and he started smiling at my chest. Anyway, after establishing that I was going to Edinburgh without my boyfriend, he asked if I would take him with me. To which I nonchalantly replied "No, you'd be subject to ridicule by all of my family". And I thought that was enough.
So yesterday morning, he was supposed to turn up for another mouse check, but he left me a voice message saying he couldn't make it, and could he reschedule.
I text him saying yes that would be fine, and I would be at home this Friday after 2pm. And then I get this reply:
' Well its a date then beautiful lol, see you at 2pm on Friday'
To which I effortlessly replied "Er probably best to leave your charm at the door on the way in and concentrate on finding the mice!"
I haven't had a message back yet.....

Incident 3: The object of my affection.

Perhaps this is a bit of an exaggeration, but I was in Edinburgh last week hanging out with all my non-cousins, and was saying how I found it difficult to meet guys, and I didn't like just approaching randoms. And my cousin Joe was like - give it a go, Its good when girls come up to guys. They won't be scared, just smile and be pleasant. So I adopted this methodology for my Auntie Tina's party.
I saw a nice looking guy in a stripy shirt so I smiled at him, and he smiled back. Result I thought, now all I need to do is talk to him, and I'm back in the game.
So on my way back from the loo later on in the evening, I saw him outside having a cigarette. In the short time it took me to say hi to my Dad on the stairs and make it outside, this guy had disappeared. Even though we'd clocked each other when I was coming out of the loo. So I went outside anyway to sort of make out that I needed some fresh air, and I realised that he was round the side of the building, but not in a "lets be secretive" sort of way, a proper "sh*t let me hide from the green dress girl" because I could see his cigarette smoke billowing shamelessly from afar.
How mean is that, and to top it all, when we were next both inside, everytime I smiled at him he looked away.
So I felt massively dejected.
But then on the flip side, I am the object of other mens' affection, so it all balances out really.
Anyway, my account expires tomorrow. I think it was a waste of money although I know a couple of my mates wouldn't agree.
I've now joined
Thanks to Sarah for writing some lovely words about how great I am.

Oh, and here's some happy news. I entered a SATC competition with Elle magazine not so long back where I had to write a SJP style article involving me and Galaxy chocolate. I didn't win, but this morning I received a months supply of Ripple bars as a runner up prize. Hats off to me!

Monday, 7 July 2008

Episode 6: The one which was inevitable

Man: Stephen from Work
Age: 24
Description: Um, well he doesn't really float my boat. At all.
Venue: Death by text message.

So here we are again with another instalment of George and the City. It really has been a while, so I expect this update will be welcomed with open arms.
Don't get too excited because I didn't meet anybody at Rachel's wedding. There were a few potential foxy guys, but nobody really showed any interest, so I just shook my ghd curls on the dancefloor instead. I might add that I've totally ruined my weave by using that thermal protector spray.

Anyway, so let me set the scene:
There's a guy at work, who has recently moved back to Bradford after a stint in London, and we work together often. He's a perfectly normal human being, 5ft 8, dark hair (nicely styled), a few extra pounds (I'm being nice), and a mildly witty sense of humour. But that's where it stops. Mainly because he isn't foxy. But it stops. Fully stops. Completely stops, and no potential for anything else. Ever. At ALL.

Unfortunately for the both of us, because we are both single, the office seems to think that we are the next BB Dale and Jen.
We get on well, I don't deny that; but I get on better with boys in the workplace generally. He's no Bryant or Crell, but he's the closest I'll get to having a boy mate at work.
Anyway, so this past week we were having a chat about how he has no friends and doesn't know Bradford/Leeds very well, so I invited him to my cocktail party. (PS let me know if you haven't had a invite as Facebook has screwed it up). And he text me this long reply about how he didn't want to go cos he has no confidence with girls and he didn't want to embarrass me in front of all my mates etc. And I was like - oh its okay, lots of people have self confidence issues, come along and my friends will be nice to you, it will be fine and there will be boys there too.
And then that was that.

So, roll on to Rachel's wedding, I'm dancing away to Love is in the air - the band were so so so good. and my phone beeps with an sms:

S: Would you like to go on a date
So I'm stood there thinking, oh f**k now what do I do. So I text back
G: "Are you drunk?. I am, at a wedding and its fabulous (it really was trellis, or parnellis as I'm calling you now)"
S: "I've had a bit to drink but I'd marry you any day George x x x x x x x x"
G (thinking oh f*ck again), "Stephen you're pissed, I'm putting this down to alcohol, see you Monday".
And then that was fine,
So I got no more, and thought I'd escaped swiftly. Until 7am the next morning. This below is a summary of the transcript of text messages that ensued. I hate texting at the best of times.

7am sunday morning
S: "did I text you last night"
Me: "its 7am, yes you did, but it doesn't matter, I'm going to sleep".
3mins later,
S: "what did I say"
me "do you not have sent items? , it really doesn't matter"
3 mins later,
S: "no go on, tell me what I said"
me "okay, you asked me out, then said you'd marry me. its no big deal, lets drop it now"
3 mins later
S: "oh, really, how embarrassing, sorry,but people have been asking what's going on between us and I was thinking about you.(cue more nonsense, I only read it the once cos it turned my stomach, so I can't really remember)"
me "jesus christ stephen, this is insane, just leave it now okay"
3 mins later
S:"hope I haven't upset you, I'll delete your number from my phone, hope I haven't ruined our friendship (etc more rubbish.."
me: "you can still text me, just not at 7,30 am"

and then I got some peace, until lunchtime

S: "hi george, its stephen, really hope I haven't angered you. I'm sorry I asked you out, and obviously you didn't relish the thought, its just you've been really nice to me....(cue more soppy nonsense"
me: "Stephen, really you're being wet now, Can we just leave this"
3 mins later
S:"okay, but what do you mean by wet"
me (and sorry this is nasty): " By all this incessant texting and explanation nonsense, it's just very gay. Just drop it all now, and lets say no more about it"
And then I got no reply.

I know I got a bit nasty, and this morning, he said that he thought I was really rude to him.
But I don't want to be accused of leading him on. It's emerged that some people in our department have been filling his head with deluded ideas of a romance, based on the fact that we walk to to the canteen together and he occasionally buys me a scone.


So that is the latest.

Oh and I text the ex boyfriend during the wedding saying that I forgave him, and I understood why our relationship would never have worked despite our best efforts because we did want different things. But I sent it to my sister by accident, because i'm a numpty.

Wednesday, 14 May 2008

Episode 5: The one with the boy next door

Man: Matt (a different one), & possibly David
Age: 38?
Description: Matt:Tall, dark hair, would have been foxy about 10 years ago, Dave: not worth describing
Venue: Next door's garden

I thought I would write an Episode 5 for this, even though it probably isn't worth it. But I know how excited you all get at the prospect of me entertaining men at every opportunity, so here it is.
So; on Sunday evening after having spent 3 hours on a train from Edinburgh, I decided to sit in the garden for a bit of fresh air. Now, I have two sets of neighbours who were both sitting outside; Marion and Rob - the ones who don't let my friends park outside their house, and Matt - an IS lecturer at a London university - even though he lives in Leeds, but never mind.

Matt and I are quite pally with each other, he sometimes comes in for a cup of tea, or we chat in the garden and things. There's nothing in it, he's a single man who has a kid at weekends. The ex-boyfriend and him used to have a bit of mountain bike envy with each other, but generally he's a nice chap.
So I'm sitting in the garden, and he leans over the fence and the conversation goes something like this:

Matt: Have you bought your bike yet",
George: "no, not yet, I need to clear out my shed first and there are a few spiders in there" (typical George answer).
Matt: Can't you get your boyfriend to get rid of them for you?
George: "Erm I could, but we're not together anymore, so that could be a bit awkward"
Matt: " You broke up, that's a shame"
George: "Yeah"
(insert general break up small talk)
Matt: "Ok, well I'll let you get back to enjoying your drink then, see you"
And it all ends well.

Cue 5 minutes later, I'm still sitting drinking my Magners (out of a champagne glass), and out of the corner of my sunglasses, I see a man come out of Matt's kitchen, blatantly check me out, but tries to make out that he's just walking round the side of the house to look at the fence. And then he turns round and walks back into the kitchen.

3 minutes later, Matt comes over and says - "Have you eaten yet?"
And I'm like Shit what do I do.
So I said no, (because I hadn't) and he goes - "Would you like to come in for some chicken"
Now I was a little wary at this, because I'm still a bit unsure about the euphemisms and also general lies that men use to get women into bed. I'm sure you all remember me falling for the "We don't have to do anything line"
Nonetheless I decided that chicken didn't mean sex, so it would be safe to go over. So I did.
And Matt introduces me to his friend 'David'.
"Georgina, this is David. David is my friend. David is visiting this weekend. David lives in the South. David is a trained chef you know. David is quite well travelled."
From what I could gather, David pretty much had the sun shining out of his ass, but alas he wasn't in the least bit foxy

So David and I had a bit of a chat whilst Matt pulls out a roast chicken out of a very trendy looking John Lewis range cooker, some new potatoes, some rocket. and some balsamic vinegar
Then out comes the garden table, and some red wine, and a bottle of pear cider, and it sort of turns into an alfresco garden party complete with some sort of trendy wireless looking musical device. Matt son (Euan) joined us to eat, but then went off to watch Dr Who on the tv, so it was just me and the two guys for the best part of 2 hours.
And there was lots of grown up chat, about all sorts of things like African dictators (my contribution was "yeah, have you seen the last king of Scotland, isn't it gruesome"), life in Uzbekistan (where they both met), and of course the weather, house prices and the benefits of living in Wortley and not London.
I felt a bit out of my depth at some points, and I think David decided that I wasn't worth pursuing and he rang for a cab about 9pm. Although he did say it was nice to meet me etc, but he was probably being polite.
I too made my excuses and hot footed it back to my place, but not before I'd polished off most of the alcohol.

So that was my Sunday evening, but now I need to know if I have to return the favour.
Ideas and thoughts please?


Monday, 21 April 2008

Episode 4: The one where she behaves like Samantha.

Man: Matt
Age: 30
Description: Tall, dark hair, quite foxy although a little on the chubby side. A little Spanish looking
Venue: Angels Share, Chapel Allerton (again!)

It's been quite some time since I ventured into the arena. Mainly because James the quantity surveyor dented my confidence a little, but also because I haven't really had the time.
So I went out with Gems and Jenna (Gem's mate) on Friday night to have a bit of a laugh and to check out the local talent.

One of the shortcomings about is that you must remember that you have agreed to put your photo up on the internet advertising the fact that you are looking for love.
Whilst this is fine, and only a select few get to see this, it can become a problem if those few cross over into the real world. This has already happened to me once before - the guy in question lied about his height anyway, so once I'd seen him in real life, I just ignored him online.

Anyway this Matt character has previously viewed my profile but not winked at me, and I've viewed his profile too which technically means that we know each other exists.
I clocked him at the bar pretty early on, and I think he clocked me but obviously pretended not to know who I was. Nevertheless he still decided to come and put his coat on the sofa that we were sitting on. Which was completely random given that he was at the bar, and we were sitting on the sofas near the door to the toilets (which is completely on the opposite side of the room!)
And that was that really, for the next ~3 hours, we girls just sat, chatted, got ridiculously cheap cocktails courtesy of Ogi D (the barman who is in love with Gemma) and had a bit of a dance.

It all gets a bit hazy at this point but I do remember Matt's friend coming over and asking for a dance, and I obliged, but then I have a really awful feeling that I abandoned him halfway through dancing and went off to speak to this Matt character. So we had the whole "I know you from", "Oh yes, I forgot I was on that" etc......
Nonetheless, I suspect we got chatting, and then the bar closed and then we walked home (to Gemma's).
Then there was a bit of singstar, and then a bit of kissing. And I decided that I'd been panicking over nothing, and it was completely alright to kiss somebody else and it wasn't traumatic at all. So I'm cured of my kissing phobia.

And then he pops the question:
Matt: "So do you want to come back to mine then (which was about 3 minutes walk away).
Me: "erm no not really, I don't think it would be wise",
Matt: "we don't have to do anything"
Me (being completely gullible): "oh Alright then, that's fine". And off I went.
Gemma has since told me that "we don't have to do anything" doesn't really mean that. Apparently everybody else knows this too!
So I soon discovered this for myself, and it was all totally fine. NB, there was no sex, but it was really nice to spend what was left of the evening in somebody else's company.

Morning time soon came around, and I was all bright and bushy tailed at about 8.30. Which is more than I can say for him. I came to the conclusion that he was being tired and grumpy and I was being given the brush off, but in hindsight we did go to sleep at 5am, so I can't blame the guy for being tired really. So I lay there for a bit, went through his cd collection, went and sorted my face (and fake ponytail) out in the bathroom and came back and he was still asleep.
Cue about 20 minutes later he stirs a bit and we have a bit a chat, which is fine, he apologised for not being wide awake, and put it down to a mix of being hungover and having epilepsy (yes. Epilepsy).
So I called a cab, and when it arrived I got up to go, and he asked for my number. And I said no.
I'm not sure why, I just figured that I'd rather put the evening down to a pulling experiment and it didn't need to turn into a potential new man friend situation.

I'm not sure whether he seemed put out or not, he certainly acted it, and I feel really harsh now. He was a lovely guy, and if I happen to see him in town again, then I'll go over and say hello and things. And I'm alright with that.

So, that was last Friday.......

Wednesday, 2 April 2008

Episode 3: The one that never was

Man: James
Age: 24
Occupation: Quantity Surveyor

So, tonight was going to be this guy...

Things were going well, we had a few email chats and texts etc. So I asked if he'd take me for a drink, and he said yes. I suggested next Wednesday (today) and he instantly replied saying fine.
I left him to devise at time and a venue.
So yesterday evening circa 9pm, I still hadn't heard from him, so I text him asking what the plan was going to be.
Now I'm still new to all this text game nonsense so I have no idea what is an appropriate time to wait.
But I decided that 10 this morning was long enough.
I was just about to start stewing when I got a text that said "Hi, sorry I'm going to have to cancel :( I'll let you know when I'm next free. James"

How gay is that. I don't even get a fu**king explanation.
So he is now deleted from my phone.

What worries me now is that I feel a little bit deflated. This morning I was just like - what a kn*b i'm not arsed. But now i'm like - I wonder why he changed his mind. is dangerous for paranoia. I might take a little break from it, cos its doing my head in.

In other news, I had a really good review. My work really like me - apparently i'm always smiling, really approachable and friendly. HA!!!
They haven't seen me on a bad day.

And in further news, The ex boyfriend is a tit.
I've finally entered the resentment phase, and am a little bit bitter. I think its probably cos we were due to go to Vegas next week and now we're not.
And the fact that I am 85% sure that he was entertaining a woman last Saturday evening (Probably the heroin addict)
And he still hasn't fixed my computer, and he is the only person that can. Which means my Ipod doesn't work.


Monday, 17 March 2008

Episode 2: The one which was promising

Date: Last Friday
Event: Drinks
Venue: Angel's Share 8.30
Man: Tom the teacher

So here's a question. How do you tell if a guy fancies you?

He was nice, he too looked like his photo, although he was more 5'11 than 6ft. Dark hair, blue eyes, nice to look at. Although he was wearing a puffa jacket - which I thought was a little excessive, but a standard t-shirt, jeans, and some pointy trainers. A bit to casual for my liking but never mind.
He wasn't that smily, but made an effort to chat. I think he's a quite a shy person, cos he was really trying at the beginning. But me being my friendly self made him feel at ease and we got on a had a bit of a laugh. Turns out we went to uni at the same time, and know similar people and went the same club nights and stuff. We do have quite a lot of stuff in common although he is a strict vegetarian. I forgot to ask him if he ate fish, but he does eat a lot of tofu.

We got on well after about an hour, and I remember thinking that we didn't need to work at conversation. He was driving, although he still had two pints, and I had two glasses of wine, and tried to be charming. I "think" he made an effort to touch my back at the bar, but it was half arsed, and he didn't do anything else which could have been touchy feely.
So we went to Zed bar about 11 and sat and chatted a bit more. And then it got to like 12 and I was thinking - how the f**k am I going to wrap this up. So I did a "soooooooooooooo" and he was like "yep, probably should go now".
And we did the whole nice meeting you thing and smiled, but neither of us made any effort to have physical contact. It could be that he was shy, or perhaps he didn't know what to do. But I probably would have kissed him out of obligation.

I'm not sure. And I'm very smily naturally, so its not like he could have thought that I didn't like him.
On a seperate note, some of you may have noticed that my face has started to resemble the side of the moon. So I went into town with zero make up on so that the nice lady at Clinique could fix me. And guess who I bump into outside Primark.


And I think he acutually looked scared of me, because he didn't smile. He was friendly, and we had a bit of a chat about what we had bought etc. And he asked me if I enjoyed myself yesterday, and I said yes. And then we sort of left it.
So I'm still none the wiser and I haven't heard from him yet. According to the Rules, if you haven't heard in 3 days, then it was never meant to be.
I'm taking a break from dating this week as its Easter, although I have identified my next suitor. Although he has a girlfriend, so I'm not too sure how that's going to work. They are on a break at the moment though, and I think it was just because we were both a little pissed on Saturday, but there could be some potential I think.


Cheers x

Friday, 7 March 2008

Episode 1: The first one

Man: James
Age: 30
Date: BRB's 8.30 last night

He was okay.
He looked like his photo. Had interesting dress sense.
Black t-shirt with ghastly silver writing on. But it showed his biceps. Good. Freckly arms though.
Dark grey work trousers. Standard
Tan Leather shoes. Good
Ill fitting jacket though - not sure.
Easy to talk too, I drank too much wine too early and got really high pitched and over enthusiastic. But then after a pep talk from Soph, I stuck to cranberry juice after that and it was all okay.
Went to Brb, and then aire bar.
He walked me to a cab rank at 11.30, and I went home.
Didn't try to kiss me which was good.
Not sure we'll see each other again.
Had lots to talk about but not sure how much we have in common. I suspect I'm probably a bit young for him.

Anyway, next week its Gavin. He's much more promising......