Thursday, 17 July 2008

Episode 7: The one which could have been three

Wow, I hear you say; two updates in as many weeks. The gods must be shining down on George finally. Well alas, they aren't. I've been sitting around waiting for Cupid and Fate, but between the two of them they have royally c**ked up my whole week, and made me shudder at the thought of finding a man to date.
And the reason.....? Unrequited Love.

There is nothing worse than finding somebody who you like only to find that they don't like you back. This has happened to me 3 times in 1 week. I don't know whether its the new long hair, my ample bosom, or the fact that I'm simply b-e-a-utiful, but over the past 7 days, I have been both victim and culprit.......

Incident 1: Stephen from Work:

You'd think after I called him a wet and a gay, he'd realise that I had no feelings for him and he'd leave me alone. But no, the texts and the emails still keep coming. E.g "i've shaved and moisturised 3 days on the trot!.Soon I'll be delightful and irresistible lol "
Really Stephen, it will take more than a Gillette Mach 3 to make me fancy you.
He also told a mutual colleague that he'd dreamt about me, and in his dream I said I'd go out with him.
Come on Stephen, it ain't gonna happen. Ever.
Even if you do send me texts at midnight saying you won't be fat forever, and that I'm really special, and if I ever change my mind, you'll be waiting for me.
Get a Grip!

Incident 2 The Rentokil man;

Last Friday, the man from Rentokil (Luke (27ish), 5ft 8, Townie haircut, gold/missing teeth, gold chav chain) called round to my house at 8am to check on the mice situation - of which there are none.
Unfortunately for me, when he rang the doorbell, i wasn't dressed. So I quickly put on a vest top - which I now realise was a mistake, and jeans.
So I opened the door all smiley, and he started smiling at my chest. Anyway, after establishing that I was going to Edinburgh without my boyfriend, he asked if I would take him with me. To which I nonchalantly replied "No, you'd be subject to ridicule by all of my family". And I thought that was enough.
So yesterday morning, he was supposed to turn up for another mouse check, but he left me a voice message saying he couldn't make it, and could he reschedule.
I text him saying yes that would be fine, and I would be at home this Friday after 2pm. And then I get this reply:
' Well its a date then beautiful lol, see you at 2pm on Friday'
To which I effortlessly replied "Er probably best to leave your charm at the door on the way in and concentrate on finding the mice!"
I haven't had a message back yet.....

Incident 3: The object of my affection.

Perhaps this is a bit of an exaggeration, but I was in Edinburgh last week hanging out with all my non-cousins, and was saying how I found it difficult to meet guys, and I didn't like just approaching randoms. And my cousin Joe was like - give it a go, Its good when girls come up to guys. They won't be scared, just smile and be pleasant. So I adopted this methodology for my Auntie Tina's party.
I saw a nice looking guy in a stripy shirt so I smiled at him, and he smiled back. Result I thought, now all I need to do is talk to him, and I'm back in the game.
So on my way back from the loo later on in the evening, I saw him outside having a cigarette. In the short time it took me to say hi to my Dad on the stairs and make it outside, this guy had disappeared. Even though we'd clocked each other when I was coming out of the loo. So I went outside anyway to sort of make out that I needed some fresh air, and I realised that he was round the side of the building, but not in a "lets be secretive" sort of way, a proper "sh*t let me hide from the green dress girl" because I could see his cigarette smoke billowing shamelessly from afar.
How mean is that, and to top it all, when we were next both inside, everytime I smiled at him he looked away.
So I felt massively dejected.
But then on the flip side, I am the object of other mens' affection, so it all balances out really.
Anyway, my account expires tomorrow. I think it was a waste of money although I know a couple of my mates wouldn't agree.
I've now joined
Thanks to Sarah for writing some lovely words about how great I am.

Oh, and here's some happy news. I entered a SATC competition with Elle magazine not so long back where I had to write a SJP style article involving me and Galaxy chocolate. I didn't win, but this morning I received a months supply of Ripple bars as a runner up prize. Hats off to me!

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